I Regret Everything
by mrs.alvinseville
Summary: Alvin Seville is a successful 32-year-old with a beautiful wife and two great kids...plus one on the way. Alvin loves his family, his actions don't always reflect it. Something is about to happen to make him regret not telling them.
1. Chapter 1

**so i just got the idea for this and decided to go with it....warning this story is sad and the first chapter makes Alvin look like a total jerk.**

"Dad, Melissa went in my room and took my....."

"Ryan," sighed Alvin, cutting his 8-year-old son off. "I'm busy, j....just go tell your mother."

Ryan ran out of Alvin's office and into the hall._ "He's always busy."_

Ryan ran past his mother, Brittany. Brittany touched her belly as she felt her unborn son kick. She entered Alvin's office. "Sweetheart...."

"What is, Brittany?" asked Alvin. He sounded very annoyed.

"Are you ready to go?"

"Go where?"

"Alvin, I have a doctors appointment today. It's my last one before little Matthew comes."

Alvin groaned. "Brittany, I don't have......."

"Daddy! Daddy!" said Melissa, Brittany and Alvin's 5-year-old daughter, as she ran into Alvin's office. She had a piece of paper in her hand. "Daddy, I...."

"Melissa, I don't have time! Would you all just LEAVE ME ALONE!" snapped Alvin.

Melissa dropped the paper and ran from the room crying. Brittany glared at Alvin. "How dare you talk to our daughter like that!"

"I'm just frustated, Brittany."

"Maybe if you took some time off of work...."

"Brittany, I can't. I've told you before. We need the money," said Alvin. He mumbled. "Thanks to this baby."

Brittany heard him. She started to cry. "Alvin, wh...."

"Brittany, I don't have time to deal with this right now. We'll talk later."

"We'll talk on the way to the doctor."

"Didn't you just hear me?!" snapped Alvin. "I can't take time out to take you to some stupid appointment!"

"That....That's like saying you think our baby is stupid. Don't you even love this baby?" asked Brittany.

Alvin didn't answer her. He continued typing something on his computer. Brittany left the office and went into Ryan's room. Melissa was with him. She was still crying. "Do you guys want to come to my appointment with me?"

Ryan and Melissa nodded and followed Brittany outside. Theodore was pulling into their driveway. He got out of his car. "Did I come by at a bad time."

"For us no. For Dad most likely yes," said Ryan.

Brittany touched her son's shoulder. She smiled at her brother-in-law. "What do you need?"

"I just wanted to visit you," said Theodore. "Elle and Sarah went grocery shopping, and I haven't seen you guys in a while, so I thought I'd drop by."

"We were just on our way to doctor," said Brittany

"Oh, this should be your last one!" said Theodore with a smile. "I remember the last appointment Elle had before Sarah was born. I can't believe my little girl is almost a year old."

"I know," said Brittany. "I doesn't seem like my kids should be as old as they are."

"Where's Alvin?"

Brittany sighed. "I don't think he's coming."

Theodore's eyes widened. _"That jerk. Of all the selfish...."_

"Daddy never has time for us anymore," said Melissa.

Theodore bent down to Melissa's level and pulled her into a hug. "I know it seems like your daddy doesn't spend a lot of time with you, but he wants to work hard so hard so you can have everything you need."

Brittany felt like crying. "C...come on kids. We'd better hurry."

Theodore looked at Brittany. "Would you like me to drive you?"

Brittany smiled. "Would you? That would be great."

Everyone piled into Theodore's car and Theodore pulled out of the driveway. Half way to the doctor's office he stopped at a red light. When the light turned green he pulled forward. Suddenly a car blazed towards them from the side. They collided, sending Theodore's car spinning and flipping.

**so what'd you think? REVIEW! be honest, but nice.**


	2. Chapter 2

**In the last chapter Theodore, Brittany, and her children were in a car accident. Alvin is about to find out about it.**

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Alvin was still up stairs in his office working when he heard a knock on the door. _"What could they possably want?" _ Alvin grumbled as he walked downstairs. When he opened the door he was surprised to see a police officer standing there.

"Are you Alvin Seville?" he asked .

"Yes, what's going on?"

"Your brother and your family were in a car accident this afternoon," said the officer.

"What?" gasped Alvin. "Were they injured? What hospital were they taken to?"

"Mr. Seville....I'm sorry....."

"No.....please. They can't be...,.."

"The paramedics did all they could. I am truly sorry."

Alvin slammed his fist against the door post. Tears streamed down his face. "I....what do....what do I need to do now?"

"I can get you in touch with someone that can help you with funeral arrangements," said the officer. "They can tell you what you need."

Alvin nodded, trying to hold back tears. He was in shock, The true reality hadn't hit him yet. The officer gave Alvin a number to call and left. Alvin went back up to his office and sat down. He burried his face in his hands and cried._ "Brittany......Ryan....Melissa."_

Alvin's heart was shattered. He noticed the piece of paper Melissa had dropped. He picked it up and saw it was a picture she had drawn. There were two stick figures with 'daddy' written over the tallest and 'me' written over the smallest. At the top of the page were the words, 'to daddy. love melissa.' Alvin cried as he read it. His family was gone, and the last thing he'd said to them was 'leave me alone.'

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_"LEAVE ME ALONE!"_ In the days that followed the accident those words ran through Alvin's head like wildfire. He was devestated by the loss of his wife, children, and younger brother. Alvin felt responsable for their deaths, especially Theodore's. Alvin learned that Theodore and Ryan were killed instantly. Brittany and Melissa were both thrown from the car. Melissa was killed when her head hit the ground. Brittany was the last to die. The paramedics delievered her baby, but it was too late for little Matthew too.

At the funeral, Alvin couldn't bring himself to look at the bodies. People told him that it would bring him peace, but he knew that nothing would ever bring him peace. Nothing would ever bring him joy or comfort ever again.

After the funeral, Alvin went back home. He didn't know what to do. The silence was almost to much. Alvin went into his kitchen. He took out a bottle of vodka he and Brittany kept for special occasions. He opened the bottle and began drinking.

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**I know this chapter was extremely short, but im having major writers block. can someone help me out? i hope the fact that there were no survivors won't make people stop reading. I promise this story will get better. REVIEW! be honest, but nice.**


	3. Chapter 3

**chapter 3. this is about how Eleanor and a few other members of the family are dealing with the loss.**

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Eleanor blinked back tears as she place her little daughter in her crib. "Night-night, Sarah."

Sarah yawned. "Night-night, Mama."

Eleanor turned on Sarah's nightlight and tiptoed out of the room. She closed the door behind her and sighed. She slid down to the floor and started crying. _"Oh, Theodore. I don't know how long I can stay strong. I miss you. I need you."_

Eleanor sat outside Sarah's room crying for almost an hour. Finally she got up and got ready for bed. She felt so broken inside, but she knew she had to keep going. Theodore wouldn't want her too give up. As she drifted into a dream, she could almost hear him , _"Elle, Sarah needs you. God left you for purpose."_

_"I know," said Eleanor. "I just wish you were here."_

_"I am, Eleanor. I will always be with you....like a guardian angel."_

_"Oh, Theo....."_

_"I love you, Eleanor."_

_"And I love you."_

_"Do me....do Brittany a favor. Take care of Alvin."_

_"I will."_

Eleanor woke up from her dream with a peace. Although she still felt sorrow inside, Eleanor knew she would make it, if only for Sarah's sake.

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"Kate, it's time for bed," said Simon, stepping on to his back porch, where his six-year-old daugher was sitting staring at the stars.

"O.k." said Kate. She sighed as she fingured Melissa's charm bracelet. Alvin had given it to her, knowing it was what Melissa would have wanted.

Simon sat down next to Kate and put his arm around her. "Are you alright, Sweetheart?"

"Yeah, Dad. I'm fine," mumbled Kate. She looked away from Simon.

Simon knew she was very upset. She had lost her best friend. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"No! I didn't want to talk to Mom. I didn't want to talk to Grandpa or Nana. And I do not want to talk to you!" snapped Kate. She burst into tears and fell into Simon's arms.

Simon stroked his daugher's hair. "It's o.k."

"No it's not. Why did God have to take Ryan and Melissa. They didn't do anything."

"I don't know, Kate. I wish I could give you some answers, but I can't."

"Daddy, will Uncle Alvin be o.k.?"

"I...."

"What about Aunt Elle and Sarah?"

"Kate....." Simon paused. He looked deep into his daughter's eyes. "It might take some time, but I promise you.....your aunt and uncle will be fine."

Kate smiled weakly. "Can I say good night to Melly and Ryan?"

Simon nodded and went back inside. He left the door open and listened to Kate.

"I hope Heaven is as beautiful as everyone says it is. I miss you all so much. I know Uncle Alvin really, really misses you. I promise I'll take care of him for you. I love you guys."

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**sorry the chapters are so short. depressing stories are hard to write. does anyone have any ideas. i will welcome them with open arms. REVIEW! be honest, but nice.**


	4. Chapter 4

**sorry it has taken so long to update. this story is really hard to write. if any of you have any ideas or advice please tell me!...Chapter 4. Three months after the accident Alvin is still coping with the loss of his family. **

**...**

Alvin didn't understand why God would take the lives of innocent children and a pregnant woman. He didn't understand why God would take Theodore, a devoted husband and father. Alvin had never been big on faith. He'd only turned to God when it was convinent for him. He took for granted all God had given him and now he'd lost what was most precious to him...forever.

_*flashback to the night of the funeral*_

_Alvin had cried until he couldn't. The silence of the empty house was taring at his heart. He found comfort in a bottle of vodka. He knew the feeling was temporary, but he didn't care. He wanted to drink his sorrows away. He wanted to forget._

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_"Damn bottle," slurred Alvin. He closed one eye and peered into the empty bottle like a telescope. "They didn't put enough in it!"_

_He slowly got up and staggered up to his bedroom. He colasped on the bed and hugged Brittany's pillow close to him. It still smelled like her. "Baby...why did you have to leave me...God, why did You have to take her...Why did You take my babies. WHY!"_

_Alvin cried into the pillow. When at last he fell asleep, he was plagued with nightmares about the accident. He could hear his family screaming for him to save them, but he could never get to them in time. Alvin was devastated._

_When Alvin woke up his head was throbbing. He felt like dying. The realisation that Brittany was not next to him only made things worse. He didn't know if he could stand living the rest of his life without her and their children. Alvin closed his eyes. Tears streaming down his cheeks he prayed, "Dave always said there's a reason behind everything You do. Why did You take my family?" _

_*end flashback*_

three months later

On Monday morning, when Alvin woke up, his head was throbbing. Once again, he'd spent the weekend drinking. During the week Alvin was at work and usually stayed sober. At work he could find something to get his mind off of...well, everything.

"Alvin, you look terrible," said one of his co-workers, Anna Thomas.

_"Perfect. I look how I feel," _thought Alvin.

"You should take a few days off of work," continued Anna.

"No, I don't need to take time off," said Alvin. He thought about how Brittany had begged him to take time off of work. He wouldn't. Now he had no reason to.

"Alvin, I'm worried about you," said Anna.

"We all are," said Jonathan Wang, Alvin's boss.

"I can't take time off. I just can't," said Alvin.

"Come into my office, Alvin," said Jonathan.

Alvin sighed and followed Jonathan into his office. He sat down in one of the chairs in front of Jonathan's desk. "What is it, Jon?"

"Listen, I know you've been goining through a tough time..."

"How could you possably know what I'm going through?" snapped Alvin.

Jonathan handed Alvin one of the pictures on his desk. It was a picture of a young woman holding a little boy. "This is a picture of my first wife and my oldest son."

"I don't understand."

"They were killed in a car accident twenty years ago," said Jonathan, blinking back a tear. "I was suppose to be with them that day, but I had to...I chose to work."

Alvin breathed heavily. He held back his tears. "W...why are you telling me this?"

"I just wanted to let you know that I understand what you're going through. I was devastated when I lost them. I thought my life was over. I started drinking heavily and once I...I even attempted suicide."

Tears streamed down Alvin's face. "Does it ever stop hurting?"

"With time it gets eaiser to handle."

"I don't know how much longer I can stand it," said Alvin. He buried his face in his hands and cried. "I miss them so much. I wish I was the one who died instead of them."

"You shouldn't wish that. God spared you..."

"You know I am sick of hearing about God!" snapped Alvin. "If God is as wonderful and merciful as people say He is then why did He let my wife and children die? Why did He take my brother away from his wife and daughter?"

"God's actions don't always make sense, but there's always..."

"A purpose behind it," interrupted Alvin. "You're just telling me what I've already been told!"

"Does it hurt to hear it one more time?" asked Jonathan.

Alvin sat back in his chair and sighed. "I just don't understand why this had to happen to my family. Why do things like this have to happen to anyone?"

"We're not meant to understand," said Jonathan. "Believe it or not, we're better off not knowing why things like this happen."

"Jon, will I ever be able to move pass this?"

"You will. It might take some time, but you will be happy again. Trust me, I would have never imagined I could have gotton over loosing Mona and Charlie."

"How did you make it?"

"I had the support of my friends and other family members. Just find someone you trust who knows what you're going through."

Alvin thought about what Jonathan had said all day. When he went home that night he decided to take his advice. He picked up his cell phone and dialed the number.

"Hello," said the voice on the other end.

"Hi, Eleanor. It's Alvin."

"Oh. Hi, Alvin," said Eleanor. She could tell in his voice something wasn't right. "Is something wrong. Are you o.k."

"No, Elle. Nothing's wrong. I'm fine. Listen, I was wondering if I could talk to you?"

"Sure...I'd like that."

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**so there it is. REVIEW! be honest, but nice.**

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Alvin's ringing cell phone didn't help his head ache. He picked up the phone and recognized Simon's number. "Hello."


	5. Chapter 5

**I forgot to mention in the last chapter that the sentence under the call to review was a sneak preview to this chapter. I think i'm gonna start giving sneaks on this story even if it's just a sentence or two.**

**chapter. 5.. Alvin gets a call and support from and unexpected source.**

**(Plus a few offers he can't refuse) **

**this chapter also a shout out to IWUBTHECHIPMUNKS - you totally rock. don't stop writing -**

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Alvin had just hung up the phone with Eleanor. They had agreed to have lunch together tomorrow. He was starting to heal a little now. _"Why couldn't it have been dinner tonight? I'm starving!"_

Alvin made his way into the kitchen to fix something to eat. He wrinkled his nose at the contents of the refridgerator. He was sick of sandwitches and microwave meals. He dug deep into the freezer hoping to find something worth eating. Without warning his cell phone started ringing. The sound startled him and he jumped hitting his head on the top of the freezer. "OH! My head."

Alvin's ringing cell phone didn't help his head ache. He picked up the phone and recognized Simon's number. "Hello."

"Hi, Uncle Alvin," said a soft voice on the other end. "It's me...Kate."

"Oh, hey, Kate," groaned Alvin, still rubbing his head.

"Are you o.k.?"

"I'm fine. I just hit my head."

"Did it hurt?"

"Just a little," said Alvin. "What do you need?"

"Oh, sorry. I was just wondering if you wanted to have dinner with us tonight. We're going to that new seafood resturant they opened in town."

"Kate, I'd love to, but..."

"Great! Be at my house in one hour," interrupted Kate.

Before Alvin could protest Kate hung up the phone. Alvin sighed. He really didn't feel like going out tonight, but he hadn't seen Simon, Jeanette, or his nieces and nephews in a while. So, he decided to get ready and go.

**000 at Simon and Jeanette's house 000**

"Hey, Jeanette," called Simon. "Have you seen my cell phone?"

"I have it, Daddy," said Kate from the living room.

Simon walked in and sat down on the couch next to his daugter. "What have I told you about taking my things without asking."

"You told me not to, but I have a good reason."

"Well, I'd love to hear it."

"I invited Uncle Alvin to come and eat with us."

"You did?" asked Simon. He sounded shocked and slightly angry.

"I'm sorry. I know I should have asked you first. Are you mad, Daddy?"

"No," sighed Simon. _"I just wish I had thought of it."_

Simon went back into his bedroom where Jeanette was still getting dress. "Hon, do you mind if Alvin comes to dinner with us?"

"Of course not," said Jeanette. "It will be nice to see him again."

"Yeah," sighed Simon as he sat down on the bed.

Jeanette sat down next to her husband. "Simon, are you o.k.?"

"I'm fine," said Simon.

"I know you better than that," said Jeanette, laying her head on his shoulder. "What's on your mind."

"Kate was the one who invited Alvin to go out with us tongiht. I can't believe I didn't think of that. He's my brother and I know he's hurting. I guess I was just afraid I would say something to make it worse."

"Oh, Simon." sighed Jeanette. "I know how you feel. I'm not really good at these things either, but Alvin has always been there for us. Remember?"

"How could I forget," chuckled Simon.

Simon and Jeanette found out they were going to be parents at the age of sixteen. Alvin stood behind his brother and sister-in-law and encouraged them when everyone else criticized them. Alvin was the one who drove Jeanette to the hospital when she went into labor and stayed by her side until Simon could get there. Simon and Jeanette both decided they wanted Alvin's name to be apart fo their son's. So, they named their son Kristopher Alvin Seville.

"Hey, Mom," said 15-year-old Kris knocking on the door. "Uncle Alvin is here."

Simon and Jeanette went into the living room where Alvin was sitting with their other son and daughters, 11-year-old twins Kaylee and Kyle, Kate, and their youngest 3-year-old Kara.

Alvin stood up and went to Simon. "I hope I'm not interrupting your plans. Kate just called and..."

"It's o.k., Alvin," said Simon. "I've missed having you around."

Alvin drove his own car to the resturant. Kris wanted to ride with Alvin. He had always been close to Alvin and it hurt him to see Alvin hurt.

"Uncle Alvin," said Kris. He obviously sounded nervious. He didn't know if he sould even be asking him something like this. "I...um..."

"What's wrong, Kris?" asked Alvin.

"My girlfriend's mom works as a waitress at Gulley's Bar. She said she saw you there last Friday and...and you were pretty wasted when you left. Is that true?"

Alvin sighed. "I won't lie to you, Kris. Yes, I was there and several other bars last weekend."

"Why?" asked Kris. "I've never know you to drink, at least not enough to get drunk."

"I've never had a reason to...until now," said Alvin, blinking back a tear.

_"Aunt Brittany would kill him if she were here,"_ thought Kris. He struggled to find the words to say. So he decided to speak his mind. "You know, Aunt Brittany would kill you if she were here."

The world around Alvin seemed to stop. He had never thought of how Brittany would feel if she saw him drunk. He was too busy trying to forget.

Alvin and Kris were silent until they got to the resturant. Kris spoke when they got out of the car. "I'm sorry, Uncle Alvin. I shouldn't have..."

Alvin placed his had on his nephew's shoulder. "Thank you for being honest. You've made me think and examin my life. I haven't done that in a while."

**000 later after dinner 000**

After everyone had finished eating they at around talking.

Kara tugged on Jeanette's sleave. "Mommy. Bathroom. Now."

Jeanette took Kara by the hand a started to lead her to the bathroom.

"Wait for me," said Kate. "I have to go too."

When his mom and younger sisters had left, Kyle eblowed Kaylee in the ribs and hissed, "Ask him."

Kaylee glared at her brother. "Uncle Alvin, Dad told us you played soccer when you were a kid. Kyle and me..."

"Kyle and I," corrected Simon.

"Kyle and I," said Kaylee with empasis. "Have started playing soccer too."

"Really?" asked Alvin. "When's your first game? I'd like to come."

"That's just it," said Kyle. "The guy that was suppose to coach our team is leaving for Iraq in a few weeks."

"Not that that's a bad thing," said Kaylee. "We're very proud of him for serving our country."

"He's been looking for a replacement, but so far he hasn't found one," said Kyle. He and Kaylee leaned their heads next to each other and let out a heavy sigh. They pouted and gave Alvin a double dose of puppy-dog eyes.

"Would you two have a problem with me volunteering?" asked Alvin.

"That would be awsome?" exclaimed the twins in unison. They got up to hug their uncle, which was unusual. Kyle usually hug anyone.

"You are the best uncle ever," said Kaylee.

"But how did you know we wanted you to be our coach."

"Just a wild guess," said Alvin, with a chuckle. He smiled at his niece and nephew. Seeing them happy actually made him happy.

When Jeanette and the girls got back, Simon decided it was time to go home. Alvin stopped Kate before she got into the car. "Thank you for inviting me tonight."

Kate smiled and hugged Alvin. "I love you."

"I love you too."

Alvin got into his car and drove home. The went into his house and got ready for bed. For the first time in weeks, he didn't feel the need to drink himself to sleep.

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**so there it is. REVIEW! Be honest, but nice.**


	6. Chapter 6

**I sort of abandoned the whole sneak peak thing because i never really know how my story is going to go. Chapter 6. Alvin and Eleanor meet to talk.**

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Alvin arrived at Eleanor's house for lunch. He hadn't talked to her face to face since the funeral. He knocked on the door and waited for her to answer.

"Hi, Alvin," said Eleanor. She smiled sweetly at him. "Come in."

"Thanks for inviting me over," said Alvin. "I hope it's not any trouble."

"No. It's no trouble at all. I'm very glad your here," said Eleanor.

"Where's Sarah?"

"She had a playdate with Kara. So it's just me and you."

Alvin followed Eleanor into the kitchen and sat down. Eleanor sat down across from him. "The lasagna just likes a few more minutes."

"It smells good," said Alvin.

After a long awkward silence Eleanor finally said, "You said on the phone that you wanted to talk. I'm listening."

"I've been going through a really difficult time since...since the accident. A guy at work told me to talk to someone that would know what I'm going through. That's why I called you."

Eleanor nodded. "I'm glad you called. I've missed talking to my friend."

"I'm afraid you wouldn't want me as a friend if you knew the truth about what happened the morning of the accident," said Alvin. "I hate myself for it."

"What do you mean?"

"The day of the accident I talk so harshly to Brittany and our kids. I yelled and told them to leave me alone. I talked about the baby like I never wanted him. I refused to go to the doctor with Brittany. That's why Theodore was in the car with them."

"Oh, Alvin. You don't blame yourself for Theodore's death do you?"

"Who else is there to blame? If I hadn't been so selfish then he wouldn't have been in that car. I would have been the one killed. I'd be in heaven with my family. You would still have your husband and Sarah would still have a father."

Eleanor gently touched Alvin's cheek. "This was not your fault, Alvin. I believe with all my heart that what happened that day happened for a reason."

"You know, people have been telling me that almost everyday since the accident, but it actually means something coming from you," said Alvin.

"Thank you," said Eleanor. "And just so you know, I could never hate you...and you shouldn't hate yourself."

"I can't help it. It's not just what happened the day of the accident."

"Something else?"

"I've had a hard time coping with this loss. I...I've been drinking to forget. Sometimes I get so drunk I pass out."

"Alvin," gasped Eleanor. "Why didn't you tell someone?"

"I didn't want to cause our family any more hurt. I use to pray that I'd pass out and not wake up."

"You don't really wish that do you?"

"I use to, but things are getting better now. You're talk really helped me too."

"I'm glad I could help you."

"Is there anything you want to talk about?"

Eleanor smiled weakly. "The past couple of months haven't been so easy for me. I miss my Teddy. Sarah keeps askeing where he is. I told her Daddy went to stay with the angels, but she doesn't understand why he can't come back for a visit."

Alvin reached for Eleanor's hand. "At least you have Sarah."

"I know," sighed Eleanor.

"Is something wrong?"

"No. In fact, everything is wonderful. I'm pregnant again."

"That...that's great, Eleanor. How far along are you?"

"Four months. The baby was concived just days before the accident," said Eleanor.

"Elle, I'm so happy for you. Congratulations."

"Yeah..." said Eleanor slowly. She burried her face in her hands and started to cry. "Oh, Alvin. I don't know what I'm going to do. I can't do this by myself."

"Eleanor, you are a strong person. I know that you'll get through this," said Alvin. "And you're not alone. I'm here for you."

"Thank you, Alvin. I'm very glad you came over today. You've really helped me."

Alvin smiled. "We should have did this months ago."

Eleanor got up to check on their meal. She and Alvin talked a little more while they ate, but not about the accident. They talked about the weather and when they played soccer as kids. They had both made the decision to move pass tragedy and live their lives with no regrets.

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**so there it is. this is the last chapter. i was running out of ideas and felt it was time to end it. maybe, if i get more ideas, i'll right a sequel. REVIEW! be honest, but nice.**

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